What is Child Grooming?

The term “child grooming”, if you are unfamiliar, may sound innocuous, even nice; but the grooming of a child by a pedophile has little to do with niceties and everything to do with access. In order to earn a child’s trust to gain access to them, a pedophile establishes a close emotional connection. Emotion will also continue to play a role in the keeping of the secret itself, sometimes for some, forever.

”  … monsters do not get close to children – nice men do”. ~ Ray Wyre

Misconceptions aside, child sex offenders come from all walks of life, as do their victims. Most victims however, are specifically chosen because they are perceived as weak and needy, particularly emotionally so, but also in the sense of in need of general time and attention. The pedo, like a slow moving molasses, will seep-in to fill the gaps, doing a sort of pseudo-nurturing dance with the child.

As prolific child sex abuser, Subway’s former front-man Jared Fogle privately told journalist, Rochelle Herman, on how to single out a child,

” … pick the little girl from the broken home and give her [the child] a little affection”.

It is wise to remember, the pedophile may also be grooming you; this is especially true if the person was introduced into your child’s life somehow  through you via a sibling, friend, co-worker, teacher/clergy/coach or adviser. It could even be your own current romantic interest and as tough as it may be to swallow, many times, the abuser is themselves the parent (or equal status caregiver) of the child being abused. In those cases, the grooming process wittingly or unwittingly began at birth merely through familiarity, access and “love”.

Not all pedophiles commit acts of abuse, but they do all have intense sexual desire for a child, maybe even your child. Many of them deem themselves “in love”, sometimes (at times) the child feels the same. It is up to you to know the signs of child grooming so that you are better equipped to identify potential perpetrators as well as would-be victims.

If you suspect a child has been sexually abused contact your local child protective services. To locate the child protective services reporting number in your state, as well as other resources call the Childhelp line at 1-800-4-A-CHILD.


You can contact SOS here or via email @ challengingtherhetoric@yahoo.com. Please put “SOS” in email subject lines.  be sure to join Cheri Roberts, LIVE on Challenging the Rhetoric every FIRST THURSDAY @ 5pm PDT/8pm EDT for their special ongoing podcast series, “A Sickness of Silence”. Listen to “part 1” HERE. These 2-hour round-table discussions feature both male and female victims, leading experts and even the pedophiles themselves. #SOS & #CTR are both rated PG-13.